i_am_candyman

The sickness

2007-04-09T14:18:31Z

Okay...where to start haven't posted in days...

Shall start with the sickness...damn...why does it always happen to me? i fell sick during the long weekend ( good friday = 3 day weekend). Some people may attribute this to the fact that i don't go to church, being the staunch agnostic that i am, i believe that it was something I ate.

Good Friday started out like any other holiday, me sleeping in late until I eat breakfast at 11.59 am and lunch at 12 noon, go out have fun. Fun was what we had, went bowling with my family, bowled a pathetic 127, I blame the lanes, they were bullshit both literally AND metaphorically. Luckily everybody was more pathetic than me...if you didn't know the rules and watched them bowl, you would have thought that aiming for the gutter WAS the point of the game. Not to mention falling over on the approach, getting your finger caught in the ball return, running around and screaming if the ball happened to do anything unexpected; like knocking over a pin and the most hilarious of all, bragging that their final score was over 50. okay okay must moderate my bragging now...

Then we went kite flying, with pieces of kite and string salvaged from the ground...I am a genius, against all evidence pointing towards the contrary. I'm a master at kite repair ha ha ha...with the bits and pieces lying around, I built a relatively symmetrical kite, which flew! (must lower amount of bragging!) Of course I wasn't the one who got it into the air...my uncle did, he's really good at it.

Then we had dinner...and just as fate would have it, the cells in my digestive system hit the emergency "eject" button, while at the same time, the rest of the body decided to turn up the central heating, fever and a stomach ache...the agony...AArgh!

It was downhill from there, when we got home, I alternated between shivering on the bed and shivering on the toilet bowl, my vision was swimming in the nationals and my feet could barely feel the ground, although the constant loss of balance meant that my face felt the ground most painfully. Okay...it was not that serious, but it still felt like crap, crappy enough to not do any work, play or leave the house. The long weekend was completely and utterly wasted.

The good news is that I'm up and running again (Im-Fully-Operational-Thank-You-For-Your-Concern-Beep-Beep), my bum still feels like it's still on fire though...must convince parents to change the brand of the toilet paper...the current brand causes several most painful abrasions in the rectal area after constant use within half and hour.

There are still nice people in this world ^^

2007-04-03T14:09:57Z

The best thing about having a blog, is that you can actually gripe and moan all about your life and that people will look at you whine your way through your exceedingly boring life, I shall start now…

Oh my gawd! I’m so frickin tired, four days of CCA training! How many days do I spend in school? Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday…that’s 5 in total. How many of them do I have to spend doing something that does not involve at least 17 hours of slacking at home?

4…that’s it 4

My legs…get this…my legs are giving way right under my torso. I mean, I was on the bus, standing there, leaning against the side, and my bowling bag between my legs, my legs spontaneously gave up supporting the rest of my body altogether.

The law of gravity then began to enforce itself on the rest of me, the only thing that saved me from the painful fate of ramming my groin into my bowling bag, was the random groping for a bar that happened to be behind me.

Enough about me, the particular bus that I was on? It was packed…tighter than a can of sardines in a garbage compactor, smelled roughly the same too. One stop from when I boarded, a fat middle-aged lady carrying a baby came aboard, and I mean fat…not only did she seem to have a spare tyre around her waist, she seemed to be storing one in each bum cheek as well.

So anyway, this lady, was waddling down the aisle quite uncomfortably with baby smothered between her enormous breasts. The bus was moving and shaking quite badly, I don’t know whether it was the nearby passengers fearing that she may topple on them or just out of the pure goodness of their hearts, three of them, not one but three, offered her their seats.

Of course, after the offer was accepted, the other two people sat down again. The guy who stood up was old enough to be the baby’s grandfather, he didn’t seem to be faring much better at standing upright as compared to the fat lady. I really didn’t believe what happened next, one of the other people who offered his seat to the fat lady, stood up to offer the old man his seat, the second person couldn’t have been much younger, but he seemed more steady than the first man and the fat lady.

In this day and age, I really didn’t believe that this kind of thing happened anymore, it is really refreshing to see that someone is being nice to strangers. Oh yea and about continuity…

Ha! I found out why Odelia is called Thomas now…

here it comes…

Wait for it…

It will be the biggest revelation that you have ever seen…

Bigger than the fact that there are nice people willing to give up their seats…

Bigger than the fact that I actually suck badly at bowling…

Yea even bigger than the one in the bible…

Her handphone number was accidentally stored under the name of Thomas!

No April Fool

2007-04-01T14:16:27Z

Today is April Fool’s day!

I didn’t even get 1 trick played on me by anyone. Kinda spoils the fun, I have been on the lookout for the entire day and I didn’t even get sabo-ed once. What I did get was a lot of happy birthday messages, thank you everyone who sent me one!

Speaking about birthdays, I went with Li Na to get a birthday present for Odelia today, her birthday falls on the 3^rd of april (actually I was out hunting for an Emily the strange bag that didn’t look too girlish). Li Na wanted to get Odelia toe socks, I didn’t know what to get, so I just followed her around.

After long moments of confused wanderings around the Bugis area, we were forced to conclude that there isn’t a single sock to be found in Bugis save for those that were already being worn (nor were there any Emily the strange bags, except for one that had a pink fringe around Emily and her cats).

Unwilling to mug a passerby for her socks, we had to look for a different birthday gift.

Me: Earrings?

Li Na: Does she have pierced ears?

Me: No idea…

Li Na: ah…slippers…these look good, do you know what size she wears?

Me: Nope…I know we could join budgets and then get her many pairs, all in different sizes.

Li Na: If I were to get someone multiple slippers, they would be the same size but different in design (sudden clutching of stomach) I’m damn hungry

Me: wha??!? Didn’t you eat lunch? (time = 2.30pm)

Li Na: No! I’m damn hungry! Okay I should stop saying that

(3 minutes later, at bugis junction)

Li Na: I’m damn hungry!

(insert short period of time)

Li Na: I’m damn hungry! Okay I should stop saying that

(insert the shortest period of time possible, defined as the time lapse between the sound of the school bell ringing and the sound of students packing their bags)

Li Na: I’m damn hungry! (probably thinking “that inconsiderate bastard, he’s been ignoring my proclamations of hunger”)

Me: (trying very hard to ignore Li Na’s proclamations of hunger) hey! There’s a shop selling cute stuff!

Li Na: Yes, but impractical, the fun part about getting someone something practical is that they have to use it

Me: Great! I could get you a gag for your birthday! Hard to find one that will fit into your mouth though.

Okay, I’m not that evil, I didn’t say the last line and I wasn’t trying to ignore Li Na when she goes “I’m damn hungry”, I think that being silent while she complains about the empty state of her stomach was inconsiderate enough.

Hmm one final thing about Odelia (the girl whom we were finding a birthday present for remember?), to all those who know her…Why does everyone call her Thomas? I shall go on an epic quest to find out. (heh heh just a poor excuse so that I can have continuity between posts)

The happiness of Birthdays

2007-03-31T04:14:43Z

wow i completely don't understand how the calendar works...seems that i got 2 posts on 1 day

Yay! happy birthday to me, it has been a really great start to my 17^th year on this planet, got lots of nice red packets from my relatives, they contain money. The red packets that is, the relatives contain organs, blood and remains of their dinner.

Mum: eh…got people give you ang bao (red packet) anot?

Me: yea

Mum: where you keep it?

Me: pocket lah

Mum: your pants where got pocket?

Me: my other pants

Mum: where’s your other pants

Me: washing machine……SHIT!

After the washing machine finished with my pants, I found the torn and mangled remains of the red packets in my pockets, thankfully, the money is still intact, I guess Singapore’s got a strong currency…ha…ha…

Yesterday, Joan was commenting how she went to buy a drink, when 5m away from the queue, something like 10 people materialized out of nowhere and queued in front of her…result = she runs back all the way to the table the class was sitting at to complain

Joan: its just like the Truman show! …blah blah blah blah blah blah (blah used to replace bits that either I din’t catch, forgot, or just ignored at my peril)…that store normally does not have any people…blah blah blah…

Someone else: I think Guan Yu’s (that’s me) spacing out…

Me: (shakes head in a neck twisting side to side motion) what??…someone call me?

Same someone else: that’s how he spaces in…

Me: Truman show…isn’t that the one with the guy whose life is actually a movie but he doesn’t know it, and all the people in his life are just actors or actresses, including his father and girlfriend, and all sorts of planned crap happens to him…I think i..

Joan: yea that’s the one…do you think I’m sexy?

Me: wha??!?….Where’s the director? I wanna resign!

Come to think of it…I space/lag out of conversations a lot, seems that even though I have broadband at home I’m still a 56k modem, (dee wheedle wheedle dee doo dee doo deeee)

Good luck to me

2007-03-30T15:40:29Z

Okay...given the track record i have so far, my online journals have an average lifespan of 1 post. I hope this one lasts a little longer. A bit about myself, I'll be 17 on the 31st of march, i live in singapore (still haven't figured out how to make the calender apply for my time...its nearly 31st march here...stupid calendar still showing 29th march), when i need a place to blab ill do it here.

stuffs that happened to me recently

TIRED arrgh! whew i just needed to say that...when i do it on the bus or at home i either get funny stares or people next to me changing their seats, not that its a bad thing, my bag will then get to ride the bus, while sitting on a recently vacated seat.

Nice bag, I don’t really like it tho…it’s this brown potato sack like thing with a little label that says “zinc”, I’ve always wanted one of those Emily the strange bags…preferably one with Emily and the 4 cats that seem to hang around her. I’m just too embarrassed to walk into any shop that sells 1 tho, currently wishing like hell that someone will get me one for my birthday…ill get you something you want for yours if you do ^^.

anyway…why am I tired? I haven’t been doing much exercise…compared to those uber sports people…I can do a grand total of 2 pull ups PE usually goes something like

(Me doing pull ups…straining as hard as I can, yet moving upwards at an impressive 0km/h)

(people standing around, probably wishing that the pathetic loser would hurry up and get down…the pull up bars are not his)

(after a while…if some kind soul notices…if no one notices I just drop and slink off in dejection)

“Eh nid assist anot?”

(through gritted teeth) “yea…how…can…you…tell…”

“by looking lor, you look like you having constipation like that”

the last line was a complete fabrication, usually I just try to nod if someone offers assistance…man my pull ups are sad sad sad sad sad sad sad. Not to worry…at least I’m not the last for 2.4km run or standing board jump or whatever other NAPFA test station thing. NAPFA in 1 week and I’m still so damn wimpy omgz…so yea basically NAPFA conditioning is wearing me out quite painfully…

okay I think ill stop blabbing for now, more tomorrow if possible.